Same Old, Same Old

 

Do you remember? I do.

I arrived at around 22:30. There weren’t many people yet, and until like 00:00, I had a good time just sitting around talking to my girlfriends.

After that, however, everything started going south.

As it always does.

I fall back into the same pattern, because I want attention. I’d be ashamed to admit that, but most people on here don’t know me, so I don’t really mind. I’m insecure. So insecure, in fact, that I’ll take any kind of attention I can get. I even try to make you stay, because I want you to make me feel wanted. It’s bad, I know. I know.

I take advantage of not only you, but of myself, too. And I shouldn’t.

I wish I didn’t feel like I’m not worth anything at all times.

 

 

 

To be completely fucking honest,

I have no idea. About anything at all. All I know is that I want to feel good, and the things that make me feel good nowadays, are alcohol and attention from people whose approval I (annoyingly) crave. I wish I didn’t drink so much, but the feeling is addicting. I wish I didn’t have to wake up hungover and full of regret at least once a week, but the worse I feel in the morning, the better I felt at night. And I need that feeling. Life wouldn’t be worth it without that feeling.

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